In the early 2000s, I was the manager for a Winter Park, FL Little League team in the Minors — 9- and 10-year-old boys. Not having a son on the team, I was neutral about the talent and skill development of the players and playing time. This freed me to focus on creating a season-long learning experience for the boys and their parents.
Respect was one word I wanted every boy to know, understand, and apply. At every team meeting, the gathered boys — along with parents, grandparents, and siblings in attendance — all would hear, “Respect is our team word. Respect the game of baseball, the rules, the umpires, your opponents, and their family members. Respect your teammates, your family members, and yourself.”
Admittedly, if you’ve been around competitive parents, upholding this standard is challenging to model. As much as I was coaching the boys, I was also coaching the parents about proper conduct on and off the field. The baseball team was my platform for shaping diamonds in the rough — all of us!
A calming technique I used during games was to sit on the dugout bench. When I stood at the dugout fence, I was on edge and too into the game. Picking up on my nervous energy, the boys would get hyper.
My bench-warming, however, offered a healthier distancing from the field of play, plus I could see the entire dugout where I read the emotions of each player. In short, I was better equipped to assess their emotional state before they stepped out to hit or take the field.
This mantra of respect infused into their spirits proved itself to be repeatedly useful. A boy would make an error in the field or strike out at bat and he would return to the dugout disappointed and dejected, and he parked in a corner of the dugout in self-exile. “Hey Alex,” I would say, “come sit next to me.” Sometimes all it took was an arm around a shoulder. Sometimes we would talk about what happened. Invariably, a lesson in respect emerged.
People make and miss the plays in baseball as well as the game of life at work, in marriage, and in relationships. Respect remains one of the great character qualities I seek to give and get. Sometimes I need to back away from the fence to calm myself, see the bigger picture, and remind myself to “Respect the game.”
Be On-Purpose!
Kevin
